My Ghetto Car

The other day Alan called my car a ghetto car. Ouch. Technically it is both our vehicle, but I never considered it "ghetto". I mentally starting going through the list of things that could possibly entitle my vehicle to such a name.

1) Start with the driver side window getting stuck half way down (or is it half way up?) when I was driving through a drive thru window earlier this week. I sheepishly had to enter the restaurant to pick up my food since I didn't want to squeeze it through the 6 inch opening. Of course this happened just in time for winter. Luckily the men at Tunex felt bad for the poor sweet lady who had to drive such a beater and rolled it up for free (never to be rolled up or down again). See, there are some perks.

2) The kids informed me that the seat belt in the middle of the back seat is broken. I got through my childhood just fine without always wearing a seatbelt. I'm sure they will too.

3) The car squeaks when you turn. I actually think this is funny. It sounds hilarious. Sort of like a reserved woman who tries to hold back a natural occurring bodily function. I don't want to fix this unless absolutely necessary and the guy at Tunex said it's not necessary right now. It just simply means that eventually my power steering will run out. I do need to work on getting some buffer arm muscles.

4) The antennae is broken. Who needs to listen to the ultra-right wing AM talk radio anyway?

5) There is a dent in the right side door. And...?

6) There is melted crayon all over the back seat. This is just to show off the fact that I have 4 sweet adorable children.

7) The hubcaps are missing off both front tires. What's the point in hubcaps? As I was sitting at Big O on Wednesday replacing my tires I heard a man ask his wife if he could buy some of those fancy hubcaps. She replied no. He asked why. She said it was because they were white. I'm not sure it (the hubcaps) is a race issue. I think hubcaps distinguish those with money from those without. And I happen to be without. Why should I be pretentious about it?



8) The heater knob is broken off. We have to turn the heat/cool air with a set of pliers. It takes so long to turn the knob that I am sweating profusely by the time I drive home from work and I have to sit on my hands for the first 3 hours that I get to work. Who needs to be productive that early in the morning anyway?




9) The driver visor is missing the mirror. I'm not vain, and if I really need to check if I have lettuce between my teeth I just need to reach down in the pocket on the driver side door and take the mirror out.

10) The passenger side mirror is broken. Why does the passenger need to see what's behind them anyway?

11) The cruise control doesn't work. Since the car shakes going over 55 mph anyway, I don't think this feature is necessary.

Put it all together and you have the perfect car. No vanity, free mechanical work and a running car with 240,000 miles on it. What could be better? Oh ya, no payments and sentimental value. You see, this is the car my dad purchased in the year I graduated from high school. It’s the vehicle that was passed around the Hipwell family and was eventually our first family vehicle. I would sit in the middle of the back seat with an infant seat on each side of me and an infant seat in the front passenger side while Alan drove. (Of course there is not a passenger air bag). It was a tight fit, but we fit.

You can call it all the names you want, but I really love this car and I will continue to drive it until the remaining 65% of it falls off.