I got reamed this weekend. First I got reamed on Saturday by Alan and then again today, by my own mother. Each of them had good points that I really couldn’t dispute, but having the flaws in your personality pointed out to you is not always easy to take. Alan basically said I have an ego and “value my own intellect more than anyone else’s”. My mother rubbed in the fact that almost 9 years ago she took off 2 weeks to help me with my newborn babies, and I sent her home after a week. She admitted feeling uncomfortable staying with me, unlike my other sister whom she is very comfortable staying weeks at a time with. Ouch.
But, if I am honest with myself, I freely admit to both of these points being true, (although I dispute part of Alan’s argument). I do believe most people have more intellect than me, in regards to something. I can name something that each of my siblings is more intellectual at, and I have total respect for that. I value what many others have to say, but he’s right that I don’t always want to hear what other people have to say, and I will first consider the source it is coming from. We had a good deep conversation about this and it makes me think about the blinders that we each wear.
I guess as far as my mom’s argument, I am a true introvert. I have a hard time going outside of myself. I occasionally feel guilty for this, but I guess the guilt cannot overcome the uncomfortability that others may be aware of when around me. I’m sorry if any of you have sensed this, and I really would like to work on this portion of my personality. But, after 33 years, it may be pretty ingrained. I do truly love each of my friends and family members, and I love to be around each one of you. Maybe if you came to visit me more often, and inundated me with your presence I would come to my senses and become more and more comfortable to be around? (In psychology this is often referred to as "flooding") Let’s try it and find out. :)
4 comments:
Whoa, Whoa Whoa!! I'm a an-out-of-the-closet flaming introvert myself - more so than Brenda! If you all come to visit her for days on end - I'll have to deal with you all too! I guess it wouldn't be too bad if you all "flooded" Brenda, but please don't be offended if I choose to withdraw to a room by myself with my iPod and book for a while to recharge.
Brenda- I really think that you are an amazing woman. When I look at you I see no flaws; just a great mom who is so smart and lovely. Last night we were at the Droge's home, we were talking about how amazing you are- you are funny and as far as we can see, can do just about EVERYTHING!
So does this friend Carrie really KNOW you??? Just kidding, you know I think you are amazing too. And of all the many, many times we have stayed with you I never felt “uncomfortable” around you or your family. But now I know the real reason Alan disappears - we thought he was just tired a lot. :)
I am just laughing.
Love ya.
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